Thursday, November 11, 2010

When Ego gets jolted

Wow, I am still laughing my butt off at that scripted conversation that supposedly took place with me and ego... LOL
I really thought that Chris would at least post a real conversation with REAL time stamps. Instead as my skype and docs show that we never even had a conversation that day! I blocked him on the 25. On the 28th he contacted me under a fake name, raziel225 after he sent me a message about wanting to come see me. He was upset that I didn't answer him or accept his repeated advances so he signed up in fake names to send me messages which I had copied in Louie Bee's skype as they came in, AND posted in a word doc.

That conversation is copied and pasted here.

You will see, the ONLY reason I responded to raziel was because I didn't know that it was Chris Geo stalking me in chat rooms to beg to come to my house and show me how much I supposedly love him.

This was his first message that came in on skype:

[10/28/2010 10:24:21 PM] Chris Geo: Hey. I just had the most horrible yet awakening dream. I don't hate you. In fact, quite the contrary. I'm just in a lot of emotional pain right now and have been for a while. I tas reading a few of our skype chats and it seems like you were fueled by my loving answers and replies. I just hit my breaking point. But in the end, we control our own reality. We have a choice between anger and love. I want to choose love. I was thinking about making a surprise visit tomorrow beause after all, what does internet bullshit have to do with real life?? As sweet as that sounds, I am a bit afraid of driving 15 hours round trip only to be yelled at and spoken to in a very low manor. So i guess my question to you is, how important is internet bullshit vs. real life, real time interaction with other people?? And one more question, are you capable of treating me with the respect and love I deserve or will you continue to treat me like I'm sub-human to cover your feelings for me, whatever they are??\
I did not respond at all to that skype, which was the only one I had received from him since I walked out on his show on the 24th of October with Joe Rogan and the chat we exchanged on October 25 where I ultimately asked him to FUCK OFF since he wasn't going away after begging kindly for months!!! Then he contacted me at the Irritate the State chat room during Louie's show playing undercover, pretending he wasn't online...
The first message I did not copy since I didn't realize who it was. The question was "Are you there?"
I responded "Yes" and the following was what transpired.
I quit responding after explaining to him I was not interested in his games.

Chris's chat in RED, mine in GREEN (they are posted this way in skype because there is no way to save the im's at chatroll and I had a feeling I should let someone else know that he was contacting me in there since we had all asked him to leave me alone.)
[10/28/2010 11:34:59 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
this is chris . I was just listening to Louie's show on this account. I'm not getting involved with chatrooms or forums anymore. Anyway, I just sent you a skype message. I had a bad dream about you. Can you read it and let me know what you think??
What do you want from me? What am I supposed to do about your dream? If you think I need to know your dream, send it to me on skype. All I want to know is who did it?
[10/28/2010 11:40:40 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
Well, I'm not sure what you mean. What are you supposed to do about it? Well, whatever you'd like really. You're free to love me or hate me. I just felt like I should reach out one more time I guess. Who's idea was what?
[10/28/2010 11:41:29 PM] Christie Aphrodite: I received a call from someone in the joe rogan forum...I know about the pm's now I just want to know who orchestrated it? I don't hate you , never did, but I don't like what you're doing.
[10/28/2010 11:43:48 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
Butterfly. I'm not a vengeful person. I'm not sure what you think I'm "doing" but I've been writing music all day and trying to forget about this horrible bullshit. I'm not sure what PM's you are talking about or what the guy from the Joe Rogan board said.
[10/28/2010 11:46:25 PM] Christie Aphrodite: not a vengeful person? there were only 3 people that could have done it...who was it?
[10/28/2010 11:46:29 PM] Can you give me a call instead of typing on this thing? I'd love to understand what's going on and try to help you get to the bottom of it, or offer whatever input i can on the matter
[10/28/2010 11:47:15 PM] Christie Aphrodite: what are you trying to do?
[10/28/2010 11:47:21 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I don't know butterfly.
[10/28/2010 11:48:48 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
well, I was trying to put this 5 sense reality stuff behind us and go above that to a higher consciousness level where all of these stresses and spites don't mean anything. That level exists, I know it. But obviously something else is going on with you. I'
[10/28/2010 11:49:12 PM] Christie Aphrodite: do you really think what you're doing doesn't mean a thing?
[10/28/2010 11:50:35 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
sweetheart. I'm not doing anything. I wrote a blog addressing some of the e-mails. Even in the blog I said you have great insight and raise great questions, etc. etc. I'm not sure what else is going on. Butterfly, I'm not psychic, spell it out for me pleas
[10/28/2010 11:51:03 PM] Christie Aphrodite: bullshit it was a straight up attack
[10/28/2010 11:52:32 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
ok sweetheart. You've been treating me very poorly and I've been responding with love and kindness. I got tired of being treated badly and reached my breaking point. How many times can I say "I understand, I didn't realize, I'm sorry" and how many times ca
[10/28/2010 11:53:58 PM] Christie Aphrodite: responding with love and kindness? treating you bad by not accepting your advances? you have disrespected me repeatedly and I know what you did with the pm's messages and comments
[10/28/2010 11:54:08 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
can you accuse me of doing shit on purpose until I finally just snap and start yelling fuck you?? I'm a man after all. Most men would have snapped WAY before that. But I bit my tongue for hours and hours. I wish you'd see that.
[10/28/2010 11:54:53 PM] Christie Aphrodite: snap for me saying no...? you do not respect me, you are not respecting my boundaries and then blaming me for not accepting them like I should in your mind.
[10/28/2010 11:55:03 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
it would be easier to talk either on the phone or skype, or even skype IM. Can we do that??
[10/28/2010 11:59:50 PM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
what advances? How can I make advances over skype?? Really christie, get grounded for a moment and stop living in your fantasy world for a moment and realize that you've treated me REALLY badly. I tried to learn from you and you just kept yelling at me
[12:00:16 AM] Christie Aphrodite: what did I do to you that was bad?
[12:03:52 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
For instance, you got mad about the Joe Rogan thing and inisted I did it on purpose. I said I'm sorry and I will reflect on it and you replied FUCK YOU, YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE. I admit I'm wrong about something but it isn't good enough for you. You still ha
[12:04:40 AM] Christie Aphrodite: so what did I do to deserve your disrespect? this feels a lot like harassment? you wrote blogs about me and started shit, not me...can you please not hurt me anymore? thank you
[12:04:53 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
have to yell at me for it for an hour while I'm packing stuff and carrying boxes up and down the stairs. Things like that.
[12:05:18 AM] Christie Aphrodite: I did not yell at you, I was laughing the whole time wondering why you still can't hear me...
[12:05:28 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
and the worst of all... you say over and over that all I want is sex from you. As if I can't get any and I have to drive 7.5 hours just for sex! It hurts so bad when you say that because it discounts all of these feelings I have for you. If you don't want
[12:06:04 AM] Christie Aphrodite: then why can't you seprate a physical relationship from the show?
[12:06:11 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I can't type on this thing. I keep getting cut off. Can you please call me on my cell??
[12:06:42 AM] Christie Aphrodite: I really dohn't feel like talking, I feel like I'm being harassed and I feel really drained, I really don't think there is anything to talk about...please think about what you did...
[12:08:25 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I wrote blog about Sheree and mentioned you for two sentences by saying that I agree that your voice doesn't fit but you offer a lot of great insight etc. etc. and you call that an attack??
[12:08:31 AM] Christie Aphrodite: lol
[12:08:55 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I can separate a relationship from the show. I definitely don't want to do the show with you, I know that. Fuck the show.
[12:09:38 AM] Christie Aphrodite: and I told you that's all I was interested in even though it was YOU who suggested that. I never asked to be on your show! now you say I was tyring to control your show? lmao
[12:10:30 AM] Christie Aphrodite: lol
[12:11:27 AM] Christie Aphrodite: if I'm sooo bad, why do you want to talk to me? I thought you blocked me everywhere and took down my archives and videos you made?
[12:12:02 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
then why were you tripping out when I was running my show then?? I didn't say a word when I was on your show. I let you run everything and cut me off over and over mid sentence. But it's ok, it's your show.
[12:12:39 AM] Christie Aphrodite: that was not the case Chris...what do you want from me?
[12:12:49 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
Can you be honest with me for a second?? What happened butterfly? We use to spend hours and hours talking to each other, talking about seeing each other, etc. etc. What happened? How did we get here??
[12:14:03 AM] Christie Aphrodite: I think that's something you need to reflect did you contribute...did you really show infinite love and choose that each moment? did you respect my boundaries or keep pusing me? did you slander me or let me go away peacefully?
[12:14:13 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
Can we please talk on the phone or on skype IM?? This is getting annoying getting cut off everytime I want to say something becaue of the text limit.
[12:14:42 AM] Christie Aphrodite: just tell me everything you want me to know in skype...where you said you blocked me and if I feel I need to respond, I will let you know...
[12:14:55 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
what do I want? To forgive, forget and love. That's it. If you say I don't know how to love.. well show me how then.
[12:15:57 AM] Christie Aphrodite: then do it...I don't think you are hearing me...I really don't see the point. You pried things out of me, I gave it to you, and you chose not to listen, I don't want to do this again...I think you need to check your ego...why are you so bothered by me?
[12:16:07 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I let you go away peacefully. I respected your boundries. You put a bunch of our personal stuff out there. You felt I was pushing because I was "talking" about stuff. You felt I was "advancing" on you over "skype". Simply because I wanted the same respect
[12:16:53 AM Edited 12:17:23 AM] Christie Aphrodite: I am going to bed, you are not hearing me, this conversation is over. Good night! :)
[12:17:07 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
that's another thing that hurt by the way. a few things you said "it's beyond your perception" and "I don't even know if it's worth my time to tell you". I guess nobody practices this "infinite love" everyone preaches now a days. That's why I'm done with t
[12:17:43 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
I did? Where?
[12:20:26 AM] Christie Aphrodite: Raziel225
Everyone seems to "attack" you Christie. Maybe it's not something wrong with eveyone else. Maybe it's something wrong with you.
After this, he continued to contact me on skype, to which I did not respond:
and THIS is where his story changes...

[10/28/2010 11:19:35 PM] Chris Geo: this is the last message we exchanged on skype
[10/28/2010 11:19:44 PM] Chris Geo: before you called me to yell at me more
[10/28/2010 11:19:49 PM] Chris Geo: I replied with nothing but love
[10/28/2010 11:19:53 PM] Chris Geo: as I did on the phone
[10/28/2010 11:20:21 PM] Chris Geo: then on the phone you kept yelling at me
[10/28/2010 11:20:34 PM] Chris Geo: while I was moving and packing and carrying boxes up and down stairs
[10/28/2010 11:20:40 PM] Chris Geo: because I respected you, I listened
[10/28/2010 11:20:58 PM] Chris Geo: finally at the end, I reached my breaking point
[10/28/2010 11:21:06 PM] Chris Geo: you tell me you have "spirit helpers"
[10/28/2010 11:21:13 PM] Chris Geo: but you call mine "demons"
[10/28/2010 11:21:43 PM] Chris Geo: you tell everyone you love them
[10/28/2010 11:21:46 PM] Chris Geo: literally
[10/28/2010 11:22:00 PM] Chris Geo: but I get the cold shoulder because I'm... what? In love with you??
[10/28/2010 11:22:25 PM] Chris Geo: so because I feel strongly about you, that means you have to be colder to me?? Colder than you are to strangers??
[10/28/2010 11:22:46 PM] Chris Geo: and you call this an attack??
[10/28/2010 11:22:52 PM] Chris Geo: "As for Christie, I completely agree that her voice and ideas do not compliment the show. After reading your e-mails I tried to get her to soften it up a bit and maybe put a little more sexy into it but she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about. I didn’t want to force anything on and I definitely didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I tried to be subtle, but she just didn’t get it. On the brighter side, Christie has some great insight and raises a lot of great questions. So she really has her moments. But yes, I totally agree that the voice doesn’t work with Truth Frequency. She’s no longer the co-host of Truth Frequency so I am sorry for jumping the gun and posting her as the new co-host."
[10/28/2010 11:24:49 PM] Chris Geo: and then you say over and over that I just want sex. As if you have this magical golden pussy that I have to drive 7.5 hours for.
[10/28/2010 11:24:53 PM] Chris Geo: What's really going on?
[10/28/2010 11:25:06 PM] Chris Geo: Is it really that hard to believe that someone actually loves you?
[10/28/2010 11:25:13 PM] Chris Geo: Does it have to be about sex with you ALL THE TIME?
[10/28/2010 11:25:29 PM] Chris Geo: Is your self esteem that low that you think that is all you are worth? A peice of ass?
[10/28/2010 11:26:54 PM] Chris Geo: I wish you would just say something like "I'm not attracted to you" or "I simply don't like you" or whatever. But to stab me repeatedly with your words for the simple fact that I'm in love with you and you can't handle that is, well... it's sick Christie.
[10/28/2010 11:29:53 PM] Chris Geo: Anyway, I just had this bad dream that something happened to you and I never got to make amends with you. So I thought I'd write and try to and maybe create a paralell timeline where we rectified our differences instead of dwelling on all of this negativity. But some people love negativity I guess. do you feel incomplete without drama in your life???
[10/28/2010 11:33:50 PM] Chris Geo: Anyway, I'm sorry I even bothered. I think I'd rather go outside and talk to the wall. It's warmer there and it responds in a more human like manner. I guess what it all comes down to is I just wanted to be treated like you treat everyone else but instead, I am somehow LESS than everyone else because I have the potential to be MORE in your life. So you can't handle success or happiness because God knows if you are happy you can't achieve "spiritual enlightenment" so you make yourself miserable all the time in hopes of some great reward in the afterlife because of all of your suffering. But the reality of it is God, the universe or whatever is just going to look at you and say "why didn't you enjoy and apprecaite the life I gave you??" and who knows what happens from there. So.... it is what it is... fuck it... I'm done... enjoy your misery.... and good night. You're like a vortex of bad energy and once you get sucked into the Christie vortex then you can't get out because it follows you everywhere you go and even haunts your dreams.
[10/28/2010 11:34:14 PM] Chris Geo: I was sooooo close to saying "I'm busy right now, I'd love for you to stop by but it's not a good time"
[10/28/2010 11:34:43 PM] Chris Geo: And as every minute passes I regret not doing that.
[10/28/2010 11:35:44 PM] Chris Geo: I reached my hand out to your for help and you just yelled at me because I was reaching out to you.
[10/28/2010 11:36:10 PM] Chris Geo: I was honest and open about my feelings and so you became cold because I expessed them
[10/28/2010 11:36:31 PM] Chris Geo: So I don't know. Obvously you have a problem responding to love.
[10/28/2010 11:36:55 PM] Chris Geo: Maybe it's you who needs to "practice what you preach"
[10/28/2010 11:37:05 PM] Chris Geo: Infinite love is total bullshit: Everything else is an illusion
[10/28/2010 11:38:04 PM] Chris Geo: do you know what it's like to offer your mind body and soul to someone and they just step all over it???
[10/28/2010 11:38:32 PM] Chris Geo: and I'm not talkng about not accepting it. But I'm talking about responding with ICE COLDNESS because of it
[10/28/2010 11:38:57 PM] Chris Geo: it's as if you thrive on returning loving emotions with hate
[10/28/2010 11:39:27 PM] Chris Geo: what's wrong with "Chris, I love you but I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone"??
[10/28/2010 11:39:44 PM] Chris Geo: instead you treated me lower than you treat a stranger in your chatroom
[10/28/2010 11:39:50 PM] Chris Geo: how the hell do you think that made me feel?
[10/28/2010 11:40:06 PM] Chris Geo: why do I have to sit here with my heart in peices and tears running down my fucking eyes???
[10/28/2010 11:40:49 PM] Chris Geo: GODDAMMIT!
[10/28/2010 11:43:11 PM] Chris Geo: I'm not worth your fucking time... Yea, I know!
[10/28/2010 11:43:25 PM] Chris Geo: I didnt' do anything but love you
[10/28/2010 11:43:45 PM] Chris Geo: biggest fucking mistake I've made in a long time
[10/28/2010 11:44:02 PM] Chris Geo: I'm worth so much more than you could ever imagine
[10/28/2010 11:44:41 PM] Chris Geo: you had no right to treat me like I was nothing
[10/28/2010 11:47:26 PM] Chris Geo: It's not worth your time to help someone who is seeking spiritual healing??? Yet that someone is supposed to help beef up your show and build you a new website??
[10/28/2010 11:47:46 PM] Chris Geo: Just admit it... you tried to use me and I didn't fall for it and so we ended up here.
[10/30/2010 12:32:56 AM] *** Christie Aphrodite blocked Chris Geo ***

Next blog I will post him begging me to be with him, what a wonderful couple we would be, all he's going to do for me if I get over my "fear of infinite love," and how perfect I am for him, how much he loves me and will always love me because I am the best thing that ever happened to him...

Oh, and all of this was AFTER Louie had told him to back off and he said he was going to disappear online for a few days...LOL
Well why was he contacting me in fake names?

[10/28/2010 12:45:27 PM] Chris Geo: yea, I know. Maybe I am self centered and egotistical. Everyone's been telling me that lately. Like EVERYONE.
[10/28/2010 12:46:21 PM] Chris Geo: yea I know. But the other day my dad told me that shit all day, then Christie called and her and I got into it (I was letting her yell at me while I was carrying boxes up and down the stairs trying to move), then Sheree calls to tell me that too.... I don't know. The universe is trying to tell me something for sure.
[10/28/2010 12:47:00 PM] Chris Geo: so yea... honestly, man to man... what should I do different? Do I not listen to people enough? Do I ingore people? Do I talk about my shit too much?
[10/28/2010 12:48:55 PM] The Crotch Shot Radio Show: you need to reflect
[10/28/2010 12:49:07 PM] The Crotch Shot Radio Show: and see what your doing wrong
[10/28/2010 12:49:17 PM] Chris Geo: ok
[10/28/2010 12:49:24 PM] Chris Geo: I'm going to disappear for a couple of days
[10/28/2010 12:49:31 PM] Chris Geo: gimmie a call on my cell if you need me
[10/28/2010 12:49:33 PM] The Crotch Shot Radio Show: see i cant tell u cause you need to see
[10/28/2010 12:49:46 PM] Chris Geo: ok
[10/28/2010 12:49:56 PM] Chris Geo: thanks brother. Love ya
[10/28/2010 12:50:45 PM] The Crotch Shot Radio Show: love ya too

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